Little Joys

Not waking up first and finding that a roommate has already made coffee = You don't have to!

What do these things have in common?

All of these have at least one thing in common:

It burns! Tight! Amazing! Fuck! Chiseled! Fuck off! Shit! Yes!

Besides all ending in exclamation points they are all things that can be yelled at the annoyingly perky 8 min buns instructor. Coincidentally the 8 min buns is the only video where he asks you questions such as "how do you want your but to look?"and "Can you feel the burn?"

Fuck yes I can feel the burn, thank you very much.

Bone Crossed!

The next book in Patricia Briggs, Mercy Thompson series comes out next month! This series is what I refer to as my 'trash literature'. You don't get any 'literary points' for reading it but the story sucks you in and you can't put down the book for three hours while you put off all you impending homework and power read through it. In other words, if you need to get out of town for a while put can't afford a real vacation I would suggest picking up the first book in this series, Moon Called. If you like werewolves, vampires, magic and urban fantasy you'll love it.

Warning!

Do not attempt 8 Minute Buns before planning on sitting and doing homework for hours, it blows.

Class? On Friday? That's silly...

It is a perfectly valid excuse to tell your professors that the reason you missed class today was because you left your phone in your boyfriend's room and therefore were not woken up by your alarm and slept through class, right? No matter the fact that because you were drinking until the wee hours of the morning you probably wouldn't have gone to class anyway even if your alarm had gone off? I think they'll except that excuse, don't you?

Safety Fail

Last nights me and two of my roommates (from here forth known as Drunky McGee and Scottie Pippen, which is another story entirely) managed to get locked out of our apartment. This was an unusual occurrence as we never lock our door. Which beside being the safest most bestest way to live in the U district, allows all of us to not have to worry about loosing our keys when we drink. If you take that statement to mean we drink quite often, well, I won't deny your assumption.

Anyway, on to the story.

While we were all in the apartment below ours last night (not drinking), our fourth roommate (I guess she thought we were all asleep...) locked the door on the way to her night shift. This resulted in much wailing by me, Scottie Pippen, and Drunky McGee and much laughing by The Boyfriend and Alan (yes, the same Alan). Luckily for us and all the would be burglars in the U district it is painfully easy to break into our apartment. Roommate number four's window doesn't lock and through a delicate process of swearing and pushing me and Drunky McGee managed to get the window open. McGee then managed to haul herself through the window which, because it is situated above a staircase, was an interesting process. Imagine an adolescent kangaroo attempting to hop through a small-ish rectangle, urged on by enthusiastic waving. Odd, but successful.

This story has a happy ending. Instead of sleeping on couches in a house that all boys live in (beds were offered, we declined) we all got to sleep in our nice warm beds. The moral here is probably that we should all bring our keys with us and lock the door. But as keys are cumbersome things that manage to get lost easily, this change most likely won't take place.

Want

This teat(I was going to change this typo when I found it several hours later to tea but teat tray is fun to say and probably says something spectacularly Freudian about me) tray. (image via The Most Awesomest Stuff Ever via Target)

Mission: Get Your Ass Out of Bed

I have set the alarm ring on my cell phone to the Mission Impossible theme. This seemed appropriate as getting my self out of bed in the morning uses the same amount of effort and skill required to track down my superior and nail him for framing me. That is to say, a lot. Also, who doesn't love the Mission Impossible theme?

They're Inching In

According to bookninja.com Stephanie Meyer has three of the four Twilight series books in the top ten bestseller list of 2008. This is disturbing for multiple reasons:

1) While amusing the books are poorly written. Bella Swan? Practically the first entry under character development (also lacking in the books) is not to give your character an obvious name. i.e. bella swan= beautiful swan, pretty sneaky eh?
2) The books are disturbing in the the way they portray females. Bella gives up everything (literally, she dies) for her Edward. The point at which I stopped reading the books (anyone who knows me will tell you I'm a sucker for urban fantasy) was when Bella decided against college because she wouldn't be able to be with Edward.
3) All of the above makes a lot more sense when I found out that Meyer is Mormon. At the risk of offending the people (maybe?) who read this blog, I strongly, strongly disagree with the Mormon church and their ideals. Knowing from what religious background Meyer is writing it is easy to see the parallels between Bella's story and the female ideal in the Mormon church. It also makes it a lot easier to see why Bella's character infuriated me to the point of putting the books down.

Anyway, what all my rambling was meant to say was this: I can't believe that the Twilight series occupies three out of ten slots on the bestsellers list for 2008. I know the publishing world needs all the help it can get right now (and I really do, I work at a bookstore) but I wish it didn't have to come from such a deplorable piece of fiction.

I killed someone last night.

Almost. Almost killed someone.

There's not exactly an excess of personal space in college. Rooms are small and landlords cram as many people as possible into a single space. However, when one of your guy friends has their door closed and you know their girlfriend is over it's possible that you shouldn't barge into his room. Maybe. My friend Alan had the pleasure of doing just this last night. The episode went something like this:

Alan: shocked expression
Me: ALAN YOU ARE DEAD!!!!
Alan: quickly closes door and runs
Me: alternate between telling the boyfriend he needs a lock and that he too is dead if he opens the door before all my clothes are on all the while muttering about Alan's death under my breath.
Boyfriend: "Just stay hear I'll talk to him." Leaves room and comes back to inform me that Alan has left the property.
Me: "as he should have because I'm going to KILL HIM!"
Boyfriend: While walking me back to my apartment (smart man) we see Alan where I promptly and loudly inform the whole University district that he is a DEAD MAN WALKING!

Anyway, Boyfriend talked to Alan (who in his defense was quite trashed) who promptly came to apologize to me. I'd like to plead temporary insanity for the ten minutes I went on a screaming rampage, I think I scared/shocked all my friends with the outburst (albeit warranted). Usually when I'm angry it's more of a calm and collected type, I don't yell or make a scene. When Alan accidentally barged in last night 'Made A Scene' would be a more than appropriate way to describe my response. All in all as I said to the boyfriend last night "Alan is my bitch for the next three to six months." I've mostly forgiven him.

Decaffeinated

I am attempting to cut back on my coffee intake. But how does a college student go about drinking less coffee?

I have decided to limit myself to one cup (be it large or small, the key word is one) cup in the morning. This will probably be subject to change, i.e.:I'm having a horrible day, midterms, hungover, that time of the month. Hmmm, hopefully I can make this work. We'll see. As I write I am currently drinking a nonfat decaffeinated latte, maybe I can trick my brain out of it's 5 o'clock headache.